I wasn't about to make this blogpost but I felt the need to do a retrospective of what was going on in 2018. Again I ended up with a few life lessons, conclusions and thoughts so here there are.
What I learnt from 2018
You have absolutely no control over anything. Everybody make you believe that you are in absolute control of what you do, of your choices and what you’re doing with your life but, at the end of the day, no matter how much energy you put into something, mo matter how much you plan over something to happen, if it does not happen it won't. Sometimes you have to let go and live with the fact that nothing happens the way you would’ve thought and this is it. Trust your gut, when you have to let go, just let go.
Stability is key. In 2018, I realized that when I don’t have enough stability in my life, a certain peace in my mind and around me, I can't get to a clear and organized lifestyle. I can’t properly organize my schedules and stick to my go to routines. And that is destructive for someone like me, someone who likes everything to be organized, done and clear. Unfortunately, events happen, death knocks at some doors, people come and go, emotions get very high and then very low and you have to keep going no matter what. This moves really affect me & I still didn’t figure how I can handle it but at least I know that stability is much needed in my life and the lack of it disturbs me a lot.
When you’re truly and genuinely happy for someone’s accomplishment, when your intention is set to be good and pure, God will give it back to you in such incredible and beautiful way. I swear to God that there is no better feeling in this world that being truly grateful and happy for people’s accomplishments as much as you would be for yourself. Because it makes you believe that you are in a better place, in a better world, it provides a hope, a joy that you can share and the happier you’ll feel for the others the more delighted and satisfied you’ll be when great things will happen to you. That’s logic.
The fear of future is legitimate. I cant lie, I wake up almost everyday with the fear of what is coming for me. Almost every single day. The fact is that I have a very vague idea about how my life is going to be for the next few months, I don't even know what is coming for me in a near future. And that shit scares the hell out of me I can tell. To add to fear, I was also feeling guilty because I knew that I shouldn’t be afraid because God is making His plans, and for me, fearing for the future was a form of lack of faith in God.
Being scared is human it does not reveal a lack of faith, it just proves that you’re alive, you actually feel, you are questioning yourself, the world around you and that fear brings you answers about what you want to do and be and what you dont want. And after you put work to get it. Use fear as a new source of motivation.
Real friendship is rare friendship.
People are becoming more and more selfish and careless about the others so be careful with the ones around you. as long as you do not feel comfortable and at ease with the people surrounding you, go away. You don't owe anything to anyone. Remember that you become the person with whom you share most of your time with. So choose wisely and if you dont want to be in the same spirit level than your friends. just leave. You’ll be happier.
Loving oneself deeply is get to know yourself deeply. The way you love someone will tell you so much about you at first. Do not love selfishly, do not crave for love, when you love limitlessly without expecting the same to go back to you, again, you’ll receive much much more than what you were expecting. Keep your love life for yourself and I’m not talking about romance love particularly, just love in general. The love of God, the love of your family, friends, loved ones. Tell them you love them instead of telling the others how much you do. Love is one of the most strongest form of energy you can own, be selfish do not share it to anyone. By loving, I got to know myself, I realized I was stronger than I thought, it challenged my patience, my ability to resist to shitty situations, to the eventuality to lose everything. It learnt me to keep my head up, to wake up in the morning and get my shit together even when everything was falling apart, it learnt me to keep faith, to keep hoping and giving and caring. The resistance that I built the past few months, I can’t even put words and describe you how tough it made me. This is real love, when you discover your inner you, your inner power, the love that unveils your sabr.
The less you tell you best you’ll be.
I’ve never been this happy since I keep my business only to me. Keeping it all to you will provide you two great strengths, first you’ll avoid negative shit and opinions from people cuz, for most of the time, you don’t need advice or opinions from people around you since YOU are the one experiencing what you are experiencing so nobody can truly and deeply understand you as much as you do, secondly because when you have no one to talk to, you talk to Allah more and it becomes a natural way to just confess to Him. And it becomes a great relief.
Missing people you love is the most challenging experience as a human being.
I think I had nothing else to add to this statement you guys probably have experienced it before, I think there’s no way really to get through this. You just live, live for you and for them.
